kelab jiwa luka sengsara(perempuan ape kau nak?)

ape aku nk?

2008-07-13T03:03:00.000-07:00

at d end of d day..
i'm not even sure of what i want haha..
acais almost there..
btw cai.. tahniah dh betunang :D~
awgs still searching..
working.. giving me sum jobs here n there..
me..
not sure.. lalalalaa.

but theres still hope..
cos its not the end of the day.. or the road..
yet..~

-bicara sendiri-

greatest mystery..

2007-07-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

" i'm going to study the other greatest mystery of the universe.. women! .. GREAT SCOTT!! "

- doc emmet brown, back to the future 2 -

bibir yg manis.. wajah yg indah..

2007-07-22T01:19:00.000-07:00

Jangan kau pandang bibir yang manis
Kerana dia bisa menghancurkan
Jangan kau pandang wajah yang indah
Kerana dia bisa meracunmu

Dengarlah hai teman
Dengarkan bersama
Aku menulis bukan kerna nama

Kerna sifat kasih
Pada sesama insan
Dan menyatakan kasih sayangku

Kita sama semuanya sama
Apa yang ada hanyalah kehidupan

Jangan kau dengar puisi dusta
Kerana dia bisa merosakkan jiwamu
Dengarkanlah puisi di pusaka
Yang telah turun temurun hari ini

Jangan kau alas hatimu itu
Dengan secebis warna kehitaman
Dialah seperti anai-anai
Lambat laun hancurlah dirimu..

precious gems..

2007-07-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

"When something unique becomes many, it loses its value..
Yet many are the sorrows of the heart..
But they become precious gems on the path to the Beloved."

Maulana Rumi

trust + love

2007-07-11T02:30:00.000-07:00

trust + love..

trust with some love.. is friendship..
trust without love.. is a business deal..

love with trust.. is the strongest bond..
love without trust.. is just a four letter word..

- bicara sendiri -

investment failure..

2007-07-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

failed relationship = bad investment = investment failure = bad financial planning..

is it? hmm... so it seems...

2 tahun kemudian..

2007-06-27T05:26:00.000-07:00

hmm..
dh tepat2 2 tahun lepas last post aku kt sini..
post2 KJLS akan bersambung semula lepas ni..
byk yg nak aku cerita..
haeh perempuan..
ape la yang ko nak sbnrnye..
hmmm ntah laa..

to be continued..

- bicara sendiri -

.........

2005-06-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

kalau ternyata kita hanya punya hari ini...

-bicara sendiri-

aku yang broke!

2005-06-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

business plan yang tak menjadi
investment yang tidak mendatangkan untung

awek lari
kawan hilang

i'm flat broke
i'm broke all around

i am a broken jantan!

aku yang broke!

2005-06-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

jarum!

2005-06-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

disatu malam yang sama,
dengan malam malam sebelumnya,
di atas bukit yang nyaman..
di kedai mek kelantan itu..

" kak ada jarum tak?"

" adik nak buat ape dengan jarum?"

dengan muka yang sangap
dengan senyum yang sedikit malap
dia menjawab dengan tenang..

"nak jahit HATI yang luka kak!"

-dalam mulut yang menyebut benci..
dia sempat juga menyuruh kawan aku yang pegi ummrah tu berdoa
supaya Perempuan bahagia..

gumbira..

2005-05-12T03:12:00.000-07:00

awang is happy..
me too.. sort of..
boleh laaa..
acai bau balik kursus halal..
n joen had teh ais n roti bom..
tebabom!!
haha.

sekian.time kasih.

roundabout fifteen..

2005-04-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

do frens make better lovers?
or..
do lovers make better frens?
hmm..
choices choices..

Rama-rama

2005-04-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

Nukilan Muhd Ali Imran
rama - rama dan wanita

Lihatlah rama-rama, ia cantik.
Apabila pandangan kita dihiasi rama-rama, kita menjadi suka dan ceria.
Hampir semua orang akan tersenyum melihat rama-rama.
Rama-rama mengindahkan alam dan menyempurnakan sekuntum bunga.
Seindah mana pun bunga tanpa rama-rama mahu hinggap di situ,
tentu ada sesuatu yang tidak kena.

Cubalah tangkap dan pegang rama-rama itu dengan sayapnya.
Lihat apa yang melekat di jari anda warna dan corak rama-rama
itu telah berpindah ke jari-jari anda. Kemudian lepaskan kembali,
ia terbang tapi lebih terbuai oleh angin. Siapa pun yang akan menangkapnya kembali tidak tertarik padanya lagi. Harganya telah tiada untuk dikagumi, disimpan mahukan diawetkan.

Rama-rama ibarat wanita. Ia indah untuk dipegang tetapi nilainya cepat turun setiap kali ada tangan-tangan yang tidak wajar hinggap pada tubuhnya. Memang fizikalnya tiada apa-apa yang kurang, tapi harga diri dan maruah telah mula tercemar. Begitulah wanita. Ia bagaikan rama-rama yang terbang membawa corak-corak indah, apabila corak-corak itu telah pudar ia tidak dipedulikan lagi. Harga rama-rama terletak pada warna dan coraknya; harga wanita terletak pada apakah tubuhnya masih tulen tatkala dia didampingi oleh suaminya.

Rama-rama terpaksa berjuang untuk memulakan hidupnya. Dia terpaksa membebaskan diri daripada kepompong. Bukan mudah untuk keluar daripada kepompong yang mengikat itu. Sedangkan sepanjang berada di dalam kepompong tiada siapa pedulikannya, malah tatkala bergelar ulat ia lebih dibenci. Sulitnya untuk akhirnya bergelar rama-rama. Terpaksa melalui kitaran dan evolusi bentuk. Daripada sesuatu yang menjijikkan akhirnya bertukar menjadi sesuatu yang amat menyenangkan. Rama-rama adalah contoh terbaik wanita untuk sedar betapa bernilainya kehidupan mereka.

Sewaktu anda dipuja, usah terlalu mabuk sebaliknya kenang-kenang kehidupan serba susah sebelum itu. Sewaktu anda digoda, dihambat dan dirayu usah terlalu mudah menyerah sebab ingatlah mereka yang bersusah payah memastikan anda dapat bangkit sebagai manusia sempurna hari ini. Anda tidak muncul sendiri, sebaliknya anda adalah lambang pengorbanan ibu bapa. Usah jadi rama-rama yang di dalam bingkai gambar indah dipandang tetapi diri sendiri menanggung beban. Hiduplah dengan bebas dan terjemahkan kebebasan itu kepada nilai-nilai murni yang perlu dipertahankan. Hak anda ialah memelihara kehormatan.

Selama mana anda memelihara kehormatan dan maruah diri anda berada pada taraf "A1". Sebaik sahaja anda tidak peduli kepada siapa maruah itu hendak diberikan, anda sudah kehilangan masa depan. Kalaulah rama-rama tahu dia cantik dan sentiasa memukau penglihatan manusia, dia tentu tidak mudah-mudah terbang ke sana sini. Sebab setiap kali ia mengibarkan sayapnya, ia sentiasa terdedah pada bahaya.

Namun rama-rama tidak pernah tahu ia sebenarnya indah dan sentiasa menjadi sasaran manusia. Jika anda tidak pernah tahu kewanitaan anda itu adalah sasaran terpenting sang penceroboh, anda ibarat rama-rama yang tidak sedar diintai bahaya. Mahalkan harga diri anda. Semakin sukar anda dimiliki semakin mahal nilai anda di sisi lelaki. Lelaki perosak hanya inginkan kuasa memiliki tetapi tidak mahu setia apalagi memelihara dan melindungi anda.

Usah terperangkap ke dalam tangan yang hanya akan meleraikan warna-warna anda. Setelah warna-warna itu hilang anda dibiarkan. Jadilah wanita angun yang punya nilai dan maruah diri, anda akan lebih dihormati.

Cinta itu terjemahan pada kasih sayang dan belaian sayang penuh ikhlas. Selama mana anda belum menemuinya anggaplah diri anda masih berhak terbang bebas bagaikan sang rama-rama. Jadilah rama-rama yang mengindahkan alam, jadilah wanita yang membanggakan semua orang.

uhh..jauhnya syurga!

2005-03-18T05:47:00.000-08:00

ku pikir sudah ku jumpa..
rupanya hanya bayang saja..
harus di daki lagi tembok usia
harus di rentas hutan dosa..
uhh jauhnya syurga..

if i could be..

2005-03-15T13:51:00.000-08:00

...but I can't help the feeling..
i could blow through the ceiling..
if I just turn and run..
And It Wears Me Out, it wears me out
it wears me out, it wears me out.
and if I could BE who you wanted
if I could BE who you wanted,
all the time,
all the time...

- radiohead -

The third one..Aziah bte Ramlee..

2005-03-15T05:18:00.000-08:00

Smoking away on Winston’s reminds me of why I started smoking.. Well after form 5 I was a mild smoker. Smoking was the only bad thing I did. Seriously.. I’d go the football matches, buy myself a cheese burger and smoke my Dunhill sevens.. Smoking made me feel like a man…3 during first half, one during time rest period and finish the last three during the final half.. That was the only time I had to myself at the time.. Football matches. My time away from everything.. I wasn’t really into football anyway.. By the time I entered my college matriculation years, I occasionally smoked. Social smokers some would call it. Then “she” came along.. She was.. small but proportionately normal. Cute, short hair(Acid Burn in Hackers influence) visible biceps.. baby doll top, 501 jeans, black army boots and smokes non stop.. She was smoking those More 100’s. Mentholated. Attitude ..but mysterious. She wore those black framed glasses. It looked really cool on her..

We met during the Ramadan month of 1998. The night was cool and she came to me asking for an autograph( a required uncivilized way to torture juniors) . I asked for her name.. Aziah..call me As..Hah!! Several weeks followed as I began my courtship rituals.. Sending her crappy notes and borrowing her Silverchair cassettes..and so on.. Then a week before Raya ..We declared.. We kissed on our first walk together..which was also our first date.. As was a fun person to hang out with. She’d laugh at my jokes, liked how my belly was round.. cuddle under my arms.. Never in my life had I felt so in love. When sadness struck her she would come to me..and I’ always be there as her shoulder to cry on. I even brought her to see my parents.. And of course..my parents being such wonderful parents would greet her with open arms..Though they worry cause she was a little small.. But I didn’t care. I was in love.. Funny how love turned out.

After matriculation, I went to KL to further my studies.. I was totally committed in my relationship.. Love makes us blind.. There we were, miles apart, divided by the seas. The only means of communication were through public phones and letters. I loved her letters.. We’d sent one letter to each other everyday. Call when we’re lonely. I was the happiest guy. 2 years had past. I went back home twice a year( semester breaks) and we’d meet along the riverside . We went for walks, movies or whatever always together. I noticed a difference in her.. Was it her looks, At that time she had just finished her pre-accounts course for ITM and had planned to move to Shah Alam KL. Sadly, she was rejected and was put to study in ITM Kuching.. I told her to go for it and study in Kuching but she was all mad about how she was worried that I was flirting around during my studies in KL.. I told her to trust me.. 1 year later, she gave me a surprise visit.. In KL!! No phone call..no letter.. She told me she was accepted at ITM Shah Alam. I didn’t know what to say..Was I happy? Sure..Was I sad? In a way.. at least she’s studying.. Or so I thought.. A few weeks later, she called me asking if I knew a place to stay in Melawati…I asked her why? She was joining EDI. Taking diploma studies in accounting.. I asked her whatever happened to ITM? She replied saying that ITM didn’t matter anymore…

The Pathetic Copywriter A.K.A Me

2005-03-15T05:15:00.000-08:00

The thinking of women..
Id have to say not all women think like this..(some will be offended)
But my ex.. sigh.. She didn’t even give me time to breathe.
Her answers to all my questions were so fast..
It made me think about what women really wanted in a relationship..
Love? Care? Just isn’t enough..for example

Last night I text’d my ex if we’re still friends..(she’s been very “busy”)
She replied saying that we still are.
“friends” I have friends..
the ex girlfriend “friend” is one thing.
Its like.. uh..I knew him once kind of a friend..
The friend.. Why consider it as a friend if you don’t even bother ..

As an honest “friend” I asked her why she left me..(after 2 years of relationship)
Which was kinda stupid but appropriate at the time..

Her answer was…(taken from the exact text message sent) 20 sec
“Coz iv lost the lovin feelin n im all bogged up wid work”

I asked her if it was the truth and asked her to be honest to herself

She replied “That’s d truth” 45 sec

I said how could she lose feelings for love? What did I do wrong..I asked her to explain..To understand ( yes women..we men do have feelings ) I mean if I were to marry her( I had that in mind ) would she leave if she “lost” her feelings?

She replied 35 sec later(typing)
“The distance, im workin u studying its 2 different life. I cant adapt n most of my attention ,my time,weekends r dedicated to work. When u hav the job u like ul understand n probably luck was not wid us. Its me who changed who cant adapt…”

I mean just a few moments before I told her how my friend just broke up with his girlfriend (8 years) and how he’s not himself these few days.. and she replied that men just cant understand women…

Well. I guess you’re rite about one thing…That’s why we love them
Perempuan Apa Kau Nak? ( After that I decided to call it quits. Literally)

p/s I know my dad gives me money ..but I don’t love my dad for his money..I love him for who he is..And that goes for the rest of my family.. with this I end this log with a song from the TOP GUN motion picture soundtrack “You’ve lost that loving feeling”. Fuck It, who gives a shit any more..

Amista 14/03/05

lost lobos..

2005-03-08T14:50:00.000-08:00

nk wat canee...
ur happy to be around them..
but so sad when ur with them..
ur happy to be needed..
but so sad dat they only need u when..
they want something..
ur happy to talk to them..
but so sad dat..
they hav nothing to say..
ur happy to see them everyday..
but so sad dat.. they jus wanna see ya..
when they wanna see ya..
nk wat cane..
wat to do..
take one bantal.. put it down..
take another bantal.. pelok..
put ur head on the first bantal..
n sleepp..
haihh..
perempuann..
....
i dont even know what i want..
ni plak nk kt perempuan..
jalan plis.. jalann..
nak wat canee..

Perempuan mesti betul...

2005-02-26T03:09:00.000-08:00

Kalau kita lambat kita salah..--merajuk
Kalau dia lambat ? mengader..

Kalau kita tak jawab call kita salah..-- merajuk
Kalau dia tak jawab call ? mengader..

Kalau kita makan tak ajak kita salah ..-- merajuk
Kalau dia makan sorang ? mengader.. dietlah..puii!!

sEMUA KITA BUAT SEMUA SALAH...
Aku rasa lagu sedih yang laki buat semua pasal disalahkan oleh pempuan yg sebenarnya salah pempuan itu jugak..Pempuan nak kita paham diaorang tapi THEY dont want to..THEY refuse to understand us.. They call it Forcing them , Oppression, and all sorts so we kesian them.. and we give in ..Thats how Troy was destroyed..
How Samson lost his power.. How Spiderman nearly died.. How knights die to save the maiden who is always in distress.. How they say behing a powerful leader there is always a woman to mess things up(Hitler, Mousulini, Batman)...

Say what you want.. I guess if you're reading this you'd complain and probrably write back.. because you cant deny that you women..will always ...ALWAYS think that you're right..

(That statement was made to say that women reading this is always right and no matter what we say is wrong)

Bila nak kawin?

2005-02-25T06:04:00.000-08:00

Soalan yg sering ku terima dari kawan 2x yg dah kawin..
Maka dengan bangganya aku menjawab "Sukati akula bila aku nak kawin" Sibuk jer...
Malangnya hidupku....sedih melihat diaorang mendukung anak...dua tiga..huu..aktif
Tapi meniaga Elken..
Baik lagi Acai ..niaga Iken..oops ikan..

Kecewa lagi..

my baby go bye bye!

2005-02-23T23:38:00.000-08:00

do u really know?
wat u know about them?
u dont event know when they gonna bite!
-fiazxl

My Song..

2005-02-16T07:25:00.000-08:00

Mahligai dari Airmata tgh main kat radio...
Ches...
tak taula mana nak stat..
Friendster down..takleh excess my account.. Bastardss
Any way..new semester..class starts next week..
Acai..mintak duit belanja...
Nak belanja awek indon kelas kat food court...

Hey wally wally

itu perempuan...la dey!

2005-02-16T04:39:00.000-08:00

itu perempuan...
(korang sambung la sendiri)
a.sangat susah
b.sangat pening kepala
c.sangat sakit hati
d.sangat mengada
e.nak marah tak boleh, tak marah pon tak boleh..
last2 marah diri sendiri!!
tak boleh buat ape2..
(ngan muke dia yang kiut kiut..senyum senyum dia yang kadang kadang geli kadang kadang menyakitkan hati..)
ko tak boleh buat ape2..melainkan ko sayang jelah dia!
-xxxfaizal

Selagi Sum Sum Tulang Tak Patah!

2005-02-15T06:39:00.000-08:00

cakap je pasal pompuan..jantan mesti stat dengan
mukadimah ..
"mmm..susah susah..susah aku nak paham pompuan ni.."
mana tak nye..hari ni dia ajak makan..esok lusa cakap ngan ko pun dia tak nak!
hari ni ko layan dia cakap ko gatal..esok ko tak layan dia cakap ko sombong!
dia tak layan ko pastu ko layan orang lain dia cakap ko gatal
ko tak layan dia sebab dia bo layan ko
pastu dia cakap ko sombong sebab ko dah tak layan dia..!!

pilih la yang mana satu ko nak gatal ke sombong?
..hakikatnya ko tak penah betul..
selagi sumsum tulang tak patah
selagi sendi sendi boleh tegak berdiri
layan je lah selagi termampu!

pening! pak mat pening!-Amy Search(dalam citer Fantasia Bulan Madu)

Valentine ku...

2005-02-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

Hari ini ku hisap rokok More 100s sempena mengingati hari kekasih.. Rokok kegemaran ex ku yg ke - 3
Aziah bt Ramlee.. Di panjang sikit.. Menthol.. lama tak isap rokok menthol......sejuk..sesuai dengan cuaca panas yg sedang melanda KL..Happy Valentine Mother f#$kers...

-Jantan Frust

ape nk tulis?

2005-02-12T05:54:00.000-08:00

sememangnye..
aku x tau ape nk tulis..
tp kekeciwaan disbbkan makhluk bernama perempuan..
mmg susah nk elak
nk agak pon susah..
cuai cuai..
ape nk buat..
pusing laa roundabout tu 18 kali pon..
masuk simpang same jugak.. haih..
ade susah, tade pon susah..
tp aku tau..
sume sanggup..
bia laa susah.. asalkan ade..
pusing laa roundabout tu lg skali..
mane laa tau.. ade azwath kt ujung simpang tu..
cuai.. mmg cuai..
ape nk buat..
perempuan.. haihh..

jantan jangan kau rajuk!(buruk sangat perangai mu)

2005-02-07T07:23:00.004-08:00

profile:07
subjek:patut ke.?
I
kalu aku ni yang tak hensem tak tau nak putus asa,,kau yang kacak sikit sikit nak merajuk
sikit sikit nak merajuk..apesal? kau jantan..dia tu perempuan..nak lebih usaha lah lebih..
II
"kalu patah sayap rajawali bertongkat jua hamba kemari"
-ayat Hang Tuah pada Putri Retno Dumilah..
ni baru jantan..
III
dalam aku bekawan dengan perempuan,
dalam banyak banyak bende terjadi,
dalam banyak banyak bende sewel aku buat
(contohnya malam malam makan ayam percik kat atas bumbung umah..pastu kantoi ngan bapak dia,,pastu seminggu aku kene potong rumput kat umah die tanpa ape2 bayaran!,,..takpe pakcik tak yah bayar pun takpe janji saya hari hari saya boleh tengok anak pakcik! hik hik hik...nak suruh potong rumput satu pulau ni pun tak pe!! )
dalam banyak banyak bende mangkuk aku buat..(mengorat sofia jane)
dalam banyak banyak hal belaku..
suke dan duke
pilu sayu dan kelat macam daun mengkudu..
satu bende yang paling menyayat hati.!!
yang paling paling merobek jantung hempedu..!!
yang paling mencabar
yang lebih mencabar dari bersoal jawab dengan En Simon..
ko nak tahu ape?
ni haa..
kene pujuk jantan merajuk..
(jantan ni ade hati kat awek ni..tapi awek ni reject..abis tu jantan ni merajuk tak nak kawan ngan awek ni..dia orang ni dulu kawan baik..perempuan tu sedih..untuk tidak mahu awek ni sedih aku pulak yang kene pujuk jantan ni..)
rasa cam nak tercabut nyawa.. ambik je lah nyawa aku..
aku lebih rela kene tumbuk macam hari tu daripada kene pujuk jantan,,betul tak tipu tumbuk lah aku! biar berterabur sum sum tulang aku...aku tak kesah..
aku tak kesah..
dalam aku bebel bebel, aku pujuk jugak jantan tu..agaknya jantan tu dah ok kot..

persoalan nya ape yang aku dapat
dalam usaha gigih dan murni(bukan murni awek awang.)
aku ni?
hmm..tuhan jelah yang boleh jawab!

" kau tak tahu"

2005-02-07T07:23:00.001-08:00

"kau mana tahu,..kau tak penah bercinta.."
ye ke?
sampai ke subuh aku pikir
ye ke aku tak penah bercinta?
abis tu ape aku buat selama ni?..

The second (Mimi)

2005-02-05T22:09:00.000-08:00

Case Study Two: Mimi Mini
Subject Name : The mini skirt dilema
Location : Kuching
Reasons : No love?

After school, I took alot of part-time jobs to keep myself occupied..It feels great earning your own cash..you know? One of the jobs I did was at Parkson Grand Kuching.. In Kuching, Parkson at the time was the most happening place in town.. At the time.. I was one of the Artist for the displays. We were the guys with the jeans and work boots and carrying hammers and paints.No uniforms which made us the center of attention at every pre sale meetings...So there I was ..artist trainee...chey.. Work was fun..being a shopping department artist meant meeting everyone on every floor..which was neat..I made many friends..especially in the food department..Until one day..
On the inhouse speakers.. "1.0 Awang, 1.0 Awang please report to Counter 4 Thank you" There standing at counter 4 was Mimi..One of the promoters for Kiki Lala Kids wear.. Mimi was the chubby type.. always doning sports wear..Adidas tennis skirts..square hair(coloured)..

Me " Whats up?"
Mimi "Nothing much, I need a ride home tonite..can you a.."
* It was sale night we close at midnite
Me " Hmm, where do you live?"
Mimi "Nearby"
Me "Sure..see ya after work"

I didnt know what she wanted from me..obviously something..

That night on the way back she kept on saying things like how cold it was and how it felt like she wasnt wearing any underwear..hah!! gila apa..(nothing happened on the way back)She was a cousin of one of my friends. I went his house that night and told him what had happened.. He laughed and told me to be carefull..I did..I went out with her on a date..to a laser disc centre..(what was I thinking)

Any way there I was..Don Juan De Marco was on show..I mean ..I was watching the movie and she was suddenly all over me...Something tell me she had experience..She taught me how to french kiss..(aww..my first kiss and it had to be a french)...But then I stopped..She said is there anything wrong?

I told her that I didnt have feelings for her and only went out with her as a friend..(which was true)..and she stopped and we watched the movie till the end.. She left after the "parkson sale" and gave me a U2 rattle and Hum CD ..How cool was that..Track 6 and 17 she said..

Track 6- I Still havent found what I'm looking for
Track 17- All I wanted is you

gaa....any ho..
She's now a teacher and happily married

Betul atau tidak?

2005-02-05T06:27:00.000-08:00

"Perempuan tertarik pada lelaki frust"
Cat semasa stuck dlm jam Sg Besi

Well, ada betul ada tidaknya.. Lelaki frust muka dia macam macho sikitlah
Hidup Lelaki Frust!! Bullshit!!
Perempuan..Hahahaha kelakarnya..
Buat apa susah susah fikir..
Mak aku cakap..kalau ada duit ..ketip jari dua kali..empat mari..
Mak aku yang cakap...Jawapla kaum hawa...
Apa perempuan nak?
Cinta? Wang? Kereta? Pasangan sehidup semati?
APA?apa?

Lelaki Melayu kalau frust dgr lagu rock kapak

2005-02-02T22:52:00.000-08:00

Pada hakikatnya bukan semua lelaki macam tu..Tetapi natijahnya kekadang lelaki macam tu...Masa happy..dangar lagu happy..omputih especially..(MLTR, Scorpions,Smashing Pumpkins, Counting crows) senang cerita lagu happylah..Kalau lagu melayu pun lgu tu pompuan bawak (bunga 2x cintalah..Paling comellah)..Tapi kalau dia di 'frustkan' oleh insan bernama wanita...ROCK KAPAKLah Jawabnya...
Lagu 2x rock hit nostalgia 80-90an tak henti-henti dalam otak..Bawak moto macam Awie...fuu...scooter V100 rasa mcm bawak Honda Shadow 600cc..air mata mangalir takyah lap pasal laju sangat.."Yang putih bersih...dalam gitar kapa..." Awal Tahun 2000..Location: Highway Kesas Flyover Ampang..Moto: Scooter Suzuki V100 kaler purple..Jam: 6-7 ptg..Hati: Remuk... (Kisah awekku yg 3rd)

The First One (Y)

2005-02-02T22:19:00.000-08:00

Case Study One: The Shampoo Girl

Subject Name : Y aka Shampoo Girl
Location : Kuching
Reasons : Unknown (old flame maybe)

Being brought up in a boys school made me a shy person towards the opposite sex. I was the guy who'd carry all his school books to school, never lost my name tag, always tucked in, white shoes..being known in school as the kid with all the books. Being the sole distributer of texts books was one way for me to gain atention from the kids at school..You see I wasnt the school athlete..the jocks that won everything..not the genius my parents always wanted me to be..I was a nobody..Who made friends with a bunch of other no body's..We were'nt bad..like the troubled kids..We were the kids no one would see in the teenage movies we'd usually see..I spoke fluent English..got average scores..yes the Average Joe..the nobody..Until I moved to boarding school.

SMS Kuching. Not that great of a school.It was new at the time..We were the pioneers actually. Where I had learned almost everything I would know about these delicate creatures called girls.. Soft skinned, Chirpy voices, Shapely bodied..It was crazy..I was at my peak of manhood..locked in a school full of girls for us to mingle around. I never really talked to them unless talked too..until..jeng jeng jeng

Then I got to know "Y". A hotty. She was..That's what the others said..How do you define hotty? How would a 16 yr old define a hotty at that time...Anyway..It was her who started it first.. Notes from a secret admirer..When we first met, I was in awe..She had hair like the shampoo ads at the time.. Body unfit for a 16 yr old..she was a goddess.. Why she chose me..I dont know..Because I wore Doc Martens at the time? Did I look cool? Probrably because of the lack of choices.. But did she really had to choose me? I didnt wanted it..It was cool at the time..But the question was..was it necessary to be a couple.. we went for walks..talked about family and stuff.. went to each others house for hari raya...I gave her flowers and chocolates. Almost bought her a ring..All in the name of love..or was it?

We broke up after school..Her old BF came back (an air-steward with a car). Her friends pursuaded otherwise..but how can someone like me at the time provide her with security..(money+transport). I called her and she hung up after keeping silent awhile. It went something like this: (actual conversation)

Toot toot toot!

Y : Hello?
Me: Hello , Y ,kamek baruk balit dari KL*. Kitak polah apa?"(I just got back from KL*, what are you up too?)
Y : .......(hangs up)
Me: err...

*(I was on my planned vacation in KL.She knew it..I even brought presents)
At that time I knew..Friends called me saying that she has a new BF..F@*k..And I didnt see it coming.. Was I me? Was it something I said? Did my breath stink? Dont think so..BO. definately not..What? What?

I switched on the radio..out comes the saddest song in the world.."Mahligai Dari Airmata" by which band I cant remember..Hence, My first Rock Kapak song..Definately the saddest 15 minutes Ive ever had from a broken relationship..bodohnya aku...

We met a few times after that...But thats a different story.
She now dates my housemate..pelik kan?

Upcoming discussion topics:
Confronting Ex's
Dating Circle of Friends

Perempuan Apa kau Nak?

yang bernama perempuan..

2005-01-30T23:30:00.000-08:00

apa lah sangat yang bernama perempuan...
apalah sangat yang bernama lelaki..
masing masing pemuja rahsia masing masing
-written by one of the greatest heartbreaker,IMRAN aka meejawa.

putri comelnya!
-by The Cat

lelaki melayu masa happy berkapel layan lagu omputih.
masa frust pandai pulak layan lagu rock kapak..
-by Amista Awang Dillah

perempuan..
perempuan hebat,sangat hebat!
1st day masuk keje dah boleh buat satu KL blackout.
ko bayangkan lah ape dia boleh buat kat kau.
-by babyfaizal

Perempuan Ape Kau Nak?

2005-01-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

perempuan ape kau nak?
aku berdiri disini diatas nama jantan!demi matahari dan bulan yang bersilih ganti..perempuan tetap aku cari...rambut ku biarkan tidak bersikat hanya ku sapu wax..biasalah fashionably serabai..artistik..capai beg galas deuterku yang ku beli dari tokey ikan yang selalu mengganggu hidupku..rokok yang naik harga ditangan kanan,,spek mata hitam ps ditangan kiri..aku berdiri senget..melihat awek awek koperat yang menjeling gatal kearahku..ku biarkan saja mereka berlalu..muak ..malas nak layan..terlalu sterotype!!skirt pendek, baju ketat,lipstick tebal,blusher merah..ntah ape ape ntah..malas..dalam otak aku yang bernikotin ni cuma ada engkau..engkau perempuan!!perempuan yang bernama Mariam...ehh Maumunah...ehh Mila..ehh MUr...M...kau tahulah sapa diri kau..keje sume dah setel..work sume dah beres..payment baru dapat,,,bos hapi..aku pun tumpang hapi...biasalah duit banyak..berkepuk kepuk...skuter ku hantar wax kat tambi car wash..berkilat kilat..lagi kilat dari tambi..meja dah aku reserve kat Diner..aku beli bunga ros..bangsat bunga ros naik harga..maybe kes tsunami..aku beli satu kad kecik, satu bentuk cincin walaupun cincin zhulian mas celop..semuanya untuk kau perempuan..atas nama kau..perempuan aku hanya ingin bertanya kenapa?kenapa mesti aku yang di tinggal kan?kenape mesti aku?apa lagi yang aku tak bagi?haaaaaaaaaaaaaa?handphone?prepaid?kete?kasih sayang?manja manja?rantai zhulian?perempuan ape ko nak?jeng jeng jeng..dapatkan dipasaran...citer lagi best dari filem rosyam nor GENGSTER,,pelakon watak UTAMA:awang dilah aka amista ntah ape ape ntah,Cat jantan timor timur,chua,fuad,adly,abang daddy cool,isa md noor aka dodol, ali imran, cik kosim dan ramai lagi jantan jantan kacak...pelakon watak JAHAT:encik faizal taukey ikan terakhir bersama kereta sukannya..AMARAN:cerita ini mengandungi aksi sedih..budak u jgn tgk nanti GB,budak keje kat KL jgn tgk nanti hantuk kepala kat KLCC,,budak tganu jgn tgk nanti bunuh penyu,budak subang jgn tgk nanti nangis kat roundabout...
nanti sambung lagi..awang nak tidor,cat nak balik umah dan aku rasa cam nak pitam pas makan ubat selsema..

kelab jiwa luka sengsara (demi yang bernama perempuan!)

2005-01-25T22:13:00.000-08:00

Profile01:
Nama:awang dillah@amista ntah ape ntah.
Kehebatan:ditinggalkan awek 4 kali..

Perempuan,,,perempuan..
Cuaca petang tu memang best sejuk je..mendung nak ujan..
Aku belasah laju je skuter sinski aku..dalam hati sambil nyanyi ”hancur hatiku ..mengenang dikau, menjadi keping keping setelah kau pergi….”lagu yang selalu keluar dari mulut taukey ikan…tak tau plak aku bila masa hati dia hancur.yang aku tahu dia hancurkan hati orang adalah..lantak kau lah taukey ikan..
Yang aku tahu ..dalam hati aku bunga bunga ..bunga yang bernama Murrr….ko tahu sape ko…hehehhehe
Tepat jam 7.30malam..
Aku dah tepacak kat starbuck yang lokasinya terpaksa aku rahsia kan dari korang…bukan nya ape kang tahu kat taukey ikan tu sebok pulak dia pun nak bawak awek awek dia date kat sini..kat umah tengok muke dia …kat sini tengok muke dia…alamat pendek umur le aku.. ,,,..
Coffee Latte satu..aku senyum
Jeng jeng …bidadari aku sampai..aku nampak dari parking lot lagi..
Cara jalan dia…makkkk..lenggok dia..makkk..sopan, tertib,ayu mayu,
“Sesungguh nya..dialah perempuan melayu”.. berdiri kat depan aku ..berbaju kebaya.raaaaaammmmppiiinngggg!!,skaf dan spek mata Gucci
kiut…kiut..rasa macam nak kiss kiss jeee
kalau la aku dapat kawin ngan dia…
mesti malam malam
aku pakai spender harimau pastu aku duduk dalam
sangkar besi…sayang aku pegang ekor pari pastu menari gelek gelek macam Alizee..lais la bonita lais la bonita,,korang penah tak tengok video clip tu hehehehehh bistnya… Aummm Auummm..heheeheehueuhue yahuuuu!!!
jap…kemudian dia duduk…
kaku aku sekejap…
mata dia
bibir dia!!!yang merah menyala nyala walaupun tak pakai lipstick..
pakk!!jual lah tanah kat belakang umah tu…awang nak kawin pakkk..
awang tak tahan hidup membujang…apelah sekeping tanah tu kalu nak dibandingkan dengan sekepinh hati perempuan..
dia diam..mata dia merenung aku tajam..dalam ..dalam sangat..cair aku…
“kenape ni bii???”aku gagah untuk bersuara..bergetar je suara aku…
antara dengar tak dengar,,…biasalah romentik la kata kan….
Dia tunduk,,kemudian memandang keluar coffee house..
Bii kite brekk!!!
Fuhhhhh!!!!betul ke ape yang aku dengar???ke cotton butt tersumbat kat dalam telinga aku??
Menggelupur aku…macam kene shock karen…besembor kopi..nafas rasa tersekat sekat je..rasa nak pitam pun ada..
Terkejut orang kat sebelah meja…mesti minah tu ingat aku kene sakit jantung..
Kak pecaye lah cakap saya kak….ni lagi dashyat dari sakit jantung….

Pelan pelan aku cuba atur balik nafas aku…macam orang kene sampuk hantu…tenganga aku….
“bi I nak minta maaf..bukan I nak semua ni..
I sayang u..tapi I rasa belum sampai tahap nak hidup semati dengan u..
Bi sebenarnya hati I kudukdukduuduukudkukduukkdukkkdukkduudkuudkuduk
Wingwingwingwignwignwingwing kungkungkungkungkungkungkungkungkung…tu lah bunyi yang bermain kat dalam kepala aku,,aku dah tak dengar dah ape yang dia atau lebih tepat lagi sayangku berkata kata…
Dunia seakan akan sunyi sekejap…
Sayup sayup aku dengar ….lagu kegemaran taukey ikan
‘hancur hati ku..mengenang dikau..menjadi keping keping
setelah kau pergi..”datang pulak wajah taukey ikan menari ala ala alizee…yang kalau buat 100 kali plastik segeri pun tak hensem.
.pegi mampussssssssss!!!!!
Weiii…perempuan ape kau nak?haaaaaaaa.
demi yang bernama perempuan...apelah sangat sekeping tanah!
demi yang bernama perempuan...apelah sangat harga diri!
demi yang bernama perempuan...aku kecewa lagi..